May 01, 2009

Remikins

I wonder if this photo gives us a glimpse of what Remi will look like when he's older:

Posted by csageday at 12:17 AM | Comments (0)

April 19, 2009

The Adventures of GoodMommy and BadMommy

A mom friend was calling herself "Bad Mommy", as some of us do, in the park yesterday and now I have this thing playing in my head at 7 in the morning so I'm writing it down.

We new moms have trouble with basic things sometimes. The baby is crying, we can't think clearly, and we try fixing the five things that are not wrong before fixing the one that is. Or we leave the house without one of the following: keys, a hat, a diaper, a blanket, the cell phone, etc. It's clear that during these times we are not ourselves. We have been attacked by BadMommy. Can't you see this playing out comic-book style?

Example: GoodMommy and baby are sleeping. Baby starts fidgeting. GoodMommy wakes up, gets baby, and starts feeding him. He's somewhat interested and calms down, but is still fidgety. GoodMommy realizes she, too is hungry.

A shadow falls across her face. A blank expression ensues. Fatigue-induced poor judgement turns her into ... (next panel, with some sort of Hulk-like transformation graphics and "KABLAM!" exclamations) ... BADMOMMY!

BadMommy is braindead and leaves babies to suffer! She doesn't change poopy diapers! She makes sure that all clothing is always uncomfortable and the baby is always too hot or too cold! She bathes the baby in freezing water and puts the baby to sleep in a sauna! She bangs baby's head on doorjambs! She takes him out in the sun and subjects him to the germs in the park! She sometimes lets baby SLEEP ON HIS TUMMY.

GoodMommy is perfect, always knows what's wrong, and never appears in public.

BadMommy thinks only of herself and is hungry! BadMommy convinces herself that fidgety baby will go to sleep if she puts him in his cosleeper! She watches him fidget and then leaves the room, heading for the kitchen.

She forgets to turn on the baby monitor!

She leisurely takes a yogurt out of the fridge and adds granola, never realizing that the baby is fidgeting because she forgot to BURP the baby!!!

She forgot to burp the baby two hours ago, and again just now!

The baby is struggling against a gigantic burp! (Cue illustration of baby with tortured expression. Vibrating squiggle lines indicate discomfort of gigantic pulsating burp.)

But GoodMommy lies somewhere in the back of BadMommy's mind. The yogurt slowly brings her back to life. Guilt enters BadMommy's brain.

She remembers the monitor and hears the baby crying. Oh @#$@#!, says BadMommy. GoodMommy still isn't entirely back, though, because she brings her yogurt to the bedroom. She gets the baby and he quiets down as she sits in the rocker, eying her yogurt. She reaches for it, contorting baby. BABY BURPS!! BadMommy had no idea that's what was going on!

BadMommy and baby will go to sleep now, and hopefully when they wake up, GoodMommy will be back. But BadMommy is always lurking in GoodMommy's brain ... lack of sleep and a crying baby may bring her back at any moment. Stay tuned for next week's adventures with GoodMommy and baby's nemesis, BadMommy.

(It occurs to me that this may not be funny or seem interesting to anyone but a new mom... er, sorry about that.)

Posted by csageday at 08:16 AM | Comments (0)

March 24, 2009

String Bean

We've just been to the pediatrician (and to Sahadi's and Trader Joe's, yum). Little D was an angel except for the part where he peed all over the examining table. We learned that he's in the 16th percentile for weight and the 75th percentile for height! Long and lean, as they say, which fits well with the genes on both sides. This makes me feel like a proud mama.

Posted by csageday at 07:23 PM | Comments (0)

Ah, Suburbia

We've just gone and spent a week in the wilds of the Jersey shore, where the supermarkets are as large as a Home Depot, one must use a car to travel, and shopping involves a steady diet of strip malls and chain stores. Still, it was luxurious because we didn't have to leave the house to get some sun (big windows!) and we had our very own non-coin-operated washer and dryer. We gorged ourselves on the Food channel (me) and HGTV (Derek), since we don't have cable at home, and generally enjoyed playing house. It was lovely to get out of our small apartment and do the sleep-nurse-fuss-play-sleep routine with different scenery and better air.

Little D is having some trouble with reflux. He gets upset after feeding, which can be heartbreaking, but there are blissful feedings now and then where he doesn't cry. This makes me think we can work towards more comfort for the rest, so we're troubleshooting. There's a learning curve, though.

On the up side, he loves to be on the changing table. He bicycles his legs and bats his arms and stares at whatever entertainment we have nearby. At the shore, this was a skylight. At home, it's a Whoozit. And wherever we are, it's our faces, which we contort into various expressions in order to elicit the half-grin that D gives us when he's amused. It's a blast.

It amazes me that D is already growing out of clothes. He swam in everything we had at the beginning. There are three stretchies that don't fit anymore. He'll be six weeks old on Wednesday.

Posted by csageday at 12:07 AM | Comments (0)

March 15, 2009

Eight Things I've Learned About Being a Mom

...because I'm too tired to come up with 10.

1. Poop and wicker don't mix.

2. No matter how ready you are for it, the pee on the changing table will come when you're not looking, and will go straight up and in whichever direction the diaper is not.

3. If the baby smells strongly of poop and doesn't have any in his diaper, the poop is on you. Most likely all over your shirt.

4. Pacifiers are not at all evil.

5. Eating soup with one hand while holding the baby is not advisable.

6. Husbands are wonderful, especially when they make you food and their voices jump several octaves when changing a fussy baby.

7. The outside world is both a scary place and a wonderful place.

8. The diapers are not getting smaller -- the baby is growing!

Posted by csageday at 04:05 PM | Comments (0)

March 14, 2009

Introducing Little D

There are so many little parenting anecdotes that I could have shared here in the past month. They play themselves in my head and I recite them to the friends and family who visit, but I rarely have more than one hand available for typing, and when I do I obsessively check email, upload photos, take a shower, etc. Still, I'd like to share some of them, so I'm writing here again. I'll warn you that I have Mommy Brain, which means I'm stupid and incoherent. I'll also warn you that they'll be stories about parenting -- these involve poop, pee, and stroller status, which we parents find fascinating.

To the uninformed, D and I had a son a month ago -- Derek Jeremiah. He's a wonder. He's beautiful. It's thrilling to see hints of a social smile, and to hold him and fall asleep together. Here's a photo of the three of us at exactly one month:

The All-Important Name

We agonized about the name because I liked Noah and D hated it. I'd wake up from a nap in the hospital, turn to D, and say, "Name! We need a name. Give me some names." We knew we wanted Jeremiah in there, but thought it might be long for a first name. At the last minute, we thought seriously about Gavin, but I didn't love it. Luke was considered and rejected. A friend showed up at the hospital with a list of suggested names. No go, so we managed to leave the hospital without naming the poor kid at all.

We were supposed to call the hospital the next morning with a name, which we failed to do. We didn't decide on something until the following Tuesday, at which point we'd gone back to the only name we've been able to marginally agree on -- Derek Jeremiah. This, because we have no imagination and the elder Derek doesn't like any names but his own.

Having two Dereks in the house in not ideal. There has to be a nickname. We thought about Remi, Jerry, DJ. Nothing is sticking. We've also discovered that having two Dereks with the same middle initial does NOT help matters.

The Ghetto Stroller

We took him on his first stroller outing today. Thus far, we've used a sling to take him anywhere, which is much more convenient, but he can't see much from inside the fabric and he's usually asleep in there anyway. I noticed him checking out the view when we had him in a car seat for a doctor visit yesterday, so we tried it again today.

Compared to the two Bugaboos in our building and the variety of upscale strollers in Park Slope, we have a pretty ghetto ride for Little D. It's a hand-me-down car seat with a universal stroller bottom (not the matching base you're supposed to have) that we picked up from our neighbors who were putting it on the street. We'll graduate to a used Maclaren as soon as he's a little bigger. We're enjoying being stroller rebels at the moment.

Little D seemed quite interested at first, looking inquisitively upwards. It's fun to put words in his mouth, so Big D said, in a mock-panicky voice, "Hey, where's the ceiling? What happened to the ceiling?", which isn't such a stretch -- he hasn't really looked up at anything but a ceiling for a while, not that he can see beyond a few inches, but a SKY is a new concept. Scary. Then he fell asleep.

We kept venturing farther away from home, thinking we could get a thing or two done. We'd pause, look at him sleeping, and then go another block. He didn't wake up and have a meltdown until we were a good 12 blocks away, at which point we realized the following simultaneously: the weather had turned icy cold, he needed a new diaper and to be fed, we'd forgotten the pacifier, and the stroller couldn't possibly be any slower.

The Stuart Smalley of Parenting

Tonight, because a bout of fussiness has been making us freak out, new parent-style, we got The Happiest Baby on the Block DVD. When you're pregnant, other parents say you MUST get and watch this to save your sanity.

I was feeling like an idiot for not watching it, but now I find it hilarious for its similarity to Stuart Smalley SNL segments. A soft-spoken, affectatious guy in a sweater vest goes on about calming babies by putting them in straightjackets and shouting in their ear (shushing as loud as a jet engine), while soft music plays and care-bear style bullet points in soft focus outline his method for success.

The method may work, but the delivery is very low-budget, self-help infomercial. It's probably because I haven't been out enough, but I was laughing hysterically two minutes into it. D pointed out that he's saying "You're good enough, you're smart enough, and your baby likes you." I need to check with other Moms to see if this is my warped response or not.

That's all for now. Here's a parting photo of D with his best friend and confidant, Mr. B. Rabbit.

Posted by csageday at 11:24 PM | Comments (0)

February 02, 2008

Dad

Sorry for the long period of nonblogging. I had written something on 11/11 or so, but my crappy hosting service didn't let me post it. Then, in a series of events that still seem incomprehensible to me, I lost my Dad suddenly, and since then my world has been a little different, and a lot more sad. Impossibly sad. He had a heart attack the Saturday before Thanksgiving. At the hospital, doctors discovered a small hole in his heart. The subsequent surgery wasn't successful, and we lost him on Thanksgiving Day. I've posted a bunch of photos on Flickr of Dad from the collection we displayed for the memorial service. I'm not really equipped or ready to write about it here. I'm still having a hard time wrapping my head around it. Still, life goes on (as Dad would say), and I have some things to say, so I'm hoping to start posting again.

Posted by csageday at 04:16 PM | Comments (2)

July 26, 2006

Little Frog

Last weekend we played host to D's adorable one-and-a-half year old nephew, Xander. While his Mom and Dad went out for a night on the town, Xander careened up and down our hallway, collected styrofoam and cardboard packaging, and practiced playing the guitar and piano with "Uncle D".

We also took a trip to the (rather wet) playground. I didn't know that we had such a nice playground -- it's kinda swanky, with the musical instruments, four different slides, and a sandbox. As a non-child-wielding adult I hadn't been privy to this information. The only downside was that because it had just rained, the slides were all soaked, so we had to convince a heartbroken Xander that the slides could not be slid down. The message didn't quite get through, and Xander protested loudly, but we managed to distract him with the large metal harp in the shape of a woman, which he was oddly drawn to (he kept hugging it). The workings of a toddler's mind are a mystery, but I'll surmise that it had something to do with wondering where Mom was. Here's a photo (more on Flickr).

As he got used to our very long apartment, Xander got brave and started climbing up the furniture. For a while, he designated a spot between the plants and the wall on our dining room table as his own. He also rather liked the Space Invaders coffee table, with all the pointless buttons and the joystick. Derek will make him an 80s video game connoisseur yet.

Posted by csageday at 12:45 AM | Comments (1)

March 20, 2006

Shrimp with Lime and Cilantro (and Orange Marmalade)

As per usual, here's another post about food. Shrimp, specifically. Not only is it a food post, it's a food post with a recipe. A plagiarized one, but nevermind that. Here's what you need:

1 lb. shrimp, peeled (except for the tail) and deveined
3 garlic cloves, minced
1 t. salt
juice of 3 limes
1/4 cup orange marmalade
1/4 cup chopped cilantro
1 t. soy sauce (more if you like)
1/4 t. red pepper flakes
pepper

Mash the garlic up with the salt. Whisk it together with everything but the shrimp, then add the shrimp (actually, the recipe says to reserve a third of the mixture for dipping sauce, but I forgot and the extra sauce in the finished product was fine). Throw it all it in the fridge for 15 minutes. Then throw it in a skillet and cook for 1.5 minutes on each side (don't overdo it). Serve over brown rice. Thank me in the comments.

I'm going to go whip some more cream now. Oh, and since I'm on a whipping kick, it's only a matter of time before I make one of my favorite childhood desserts, merengues meringues.

Posted by csageday at 09:18 PM | Comments (1)

January 21, 2006

Cake!

Xander turned one last month, and celebrated appropriately.

To be fair, he was egged on by several adult relatives to do this -- he was really adamant in the beginning about using the fork and all, since he's ONE now, you know. We think he liked it, though.

Posted by csageday at 12:51 PM | Comments (0)

January 16, 2006

Baby Xander

We were lucky enough to have nephew Xander all to ourselves Saturday afternoon, and we had a ball ... he loves exploring and testing things out. Balls of yarn, things that make noise or rattle, cork coasters, and our retro globe-style lighting fixtures were a hit (he thought they were balloons and kept pointing at them). Even though we were just playing around the whole time, we were exhausted about 20 minutes in, and my arms are still sore from carrying him around. I have a new appreciation for the job of parenting a kid full time. It's just completely insane. I'm not sure how new parents function at all. Well, actually, I do -- because I'd babysit again in a second -- he's just amazing (for photographic proof of Xander's uber-cuteness, see additional photos on Flickr).

Posted by csageday at 01:54 PM | Comments (0)