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July 06, 2007
Really Long-Winded Wedding Update
I got a little carried away with this post, because there are so many things going on and I've done so little blogging. I'm sure it's not very interesting for people not also planning a wedding -- sorry about that.
I'm learning that there are stages to each portion of the wedding planning. First, there's the amateur exploration of the new task. Then, after much hand-wringing and frustration (vented to friends, family, and strangers), there's a minor breakthrough, in which the solution becomes clear. Finally, there's a prolonged, anxiety and roadblock-filled stagger toward the finished product/decision. All of this takes time. I'm getting a little nervous about how we'll get everything done. I don't agree with the year-to-plan-a-wedding philosophy, which I attribute to marketing minds at bridal businesses, but I think I would have enjoyed taking my time with some of these activities. Here are some examples of the phases I'm seeing:
Save-the-Date
Phase I (Clueless): Stationary store visit
Phase II (Breakthrough): Realization that we can do it ourselves. Followed by: fruitless Photoshop and Googling sessions involving art deco fonts. Followed by: Breakthrough #2, when I thought of scanning photos of a family photo collection and tiling them.
Phase III: Stalling until we'd have a chance to get the photos. Paying absurd sums to use a Kinko's scanner when mine broke. Realizing Photoshop isn't ideal for publishing jobs. Agonizing over the green printer that doesn't offer hard copy proofs and charges too much. Asking for mad favors from people I barely know through work. Getting final product in wrong size. Finally sending the damned things.
Invitations
Phase I (pointless browsing): Four sit-down stationary store visits in two states, with many, many binders and some very strong opinions about postcard RSVPs (not allowed in NJ shop). No headway made at all.
Phase II: Do-it-Yourself realization, followed by hours in paper and stationary stores and several rounds of handmade invitations, which I carried around and impulsively showed to EVERYONE, from coworkers in the elevator to the checkout person in the co-op. Slowly, I moved toward a final design. By then, word-of-mouth recommendations had helped me uncover a second type of wedding invitation vendor -- the type that will print your design in letterpress. I feel like I've made it to some sort of inner circle. Both PrintIcon and Soho Letterpress have printing presses on site, cranking away. The visit to Soho Letterpress, which involves a poorly marked door, a buzz, and a climb up four flights of stairs (in one of those loft buildings where you can see all hundred or so stairs stretching ahead of you) felt like an induction into a secret, cheaper alternative for people who know their fonts and colors and may have attended art school (I don't and didn't, but I tried my best to act creative). The prices were a lot cheaper than PrintIcon, too, which was the first place I brought my little DIY mockup to. (Thanks, Marci, for the recommendation and the art-school help!)
Phase III: Major implementation-of-idea difficulties. The paper I like from Kate's doesn't come in normal envelope sizes and PrintIcon wouldn't even print on it. It tends to disintegrate. The foldovers I'm using have been discontinued. The alternative versions don't fit in standard size envelopes. The second-choice paper I finally find doesn't come in RSVP envelope sizes. And I'm only in the middle of this phase, so plenty of additional difficulties are ahead.
Caterer
Phase I (Clueless and pathetic): Web searches yield little. All the major places are booked. The local options are limited. When the food is good, the staffing is minimal. When the food is so-so, the staffing is exceptional. When you get both together... there's something else.
Phase II: Realize, after leaving potential caterers hanging because we have no time to call people during the day, that we need help. Discover wonderful wedding coordinator, despite conviction that wedding doesn't need a planner other than you. Finally, we're close to making a decision on this.
Phase III: Oh god. This phase is going to be difficult.
Dress & Tux
Let's not discuss the dress. Except to say that there are no shoes and the undergarment I'm supposed to be getting is hanging on a rack in a store somewhere (where??? The ones in Macy's were scary). I need to get both of those things before I can get it altered. We may be getting a tux this weekend.
Registry
Phase I: Search desperately for alternative to non-eco-friendly, boring, mass-market, consumerist alternatives. Love idea of places like myregistry.com, but find out they require guests to sign in (ach!). Are ashamed of domain names like thethingsiwant.com. Try to put together custom registry with things like a glass-blowing class, donations to charities, etc., but realize custom list is lame and gouache.
Phase II: Give up. We're heading to a chain tomorrow. Hopefully it'll be fun to use a scanner.
Music
Derek is doing the music. Derek is very busy. Derek may do the music himself. I am grateful that a) he does A/V work for a living and b) the iPod exists. I think we're still in Phase I. Mom thinks Phase II will involve a realization that we like recorder music, so we can use people she knows. Recorder music reminds me of third grade.
Wedding Party
Jo and Nick: fend for yourselves.
Dessert
Phase I: There's a great bakery in the next town over. She's doing fabulous cupcakes.
Phase II: I had a breakthrough yesterday. I think we should also have rice crispie treats. I like rice crispie treats. I'm worried that this idea will be greeted with the same response that my corduroy wedding dress idea received.
Honeymoon
Greece, maybe? When are we supposed to plan THIS?Photographer
Phase I (Pointless dithering): Surfing Adirondack photographer sites. Good ones are booked. Rest are kinda scary. Prices all over the charts.
Phase II (Breakthrough): Flickr has AWESOME photographers. There must be some way of convincing one of them to come to our wedding. I plan to mine Flickr for info. Another suggestion from a very-organized bride-to-be-on-a-budget is to put your terms on a local Craigslist "Gigs" category and filter through responses.
Posted by csageday at July 6, 2007 11:09 PM
Comments
Good luck with all of this! I'd say "it'll all work out", but that's trite and not helpful in the midst of the planning, I know.
But Greece would be an AWESOME place to go (I went once, years ago, and would love to go back). My only advice--do plan your honeymoon. You'll need one after all of this is done--I regret that we weren't able to have one.
Posted by: ck at July 7, 2007 12:15 AM
Thanks, ck. I guess we should at least look at tickets. And a book about Greece. That sounds like more fun than the food planning, anyway.
Posted by: Cindy at July 7, 2007 12:34 AM
Dooood! We gotta talk! I swear, I just did all this. But for me, Phase I was always "Have a long conversation with the Mr. starting with the statement 'Tell me again why you want to have a WEDDING?'"
Posted by: Amber at July 11, 2007 05:34 PM
Thing is, I like the idea of a wedding. I even like the idea of planning it. It's the actual DOING on a DEADLINE and all of the expectations about traditional components that are driving me nuts -- flowers, a fancy invite (all the damned paper rules, argh), the registry, etc. Yes, let's chat.
Posted by: Cindy at July 12, 2007 03:40 PM