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July 30, 2007

Haves and Have Nots

Have read the new Harry Potter (thanks, Nick!). Have seen the Harry Potter movie. Will not say any more for fear of spoiling something.

Have celebrated our engagement with many friends and family at a lovely party thrown by my parents (Francis remembered to take pictures).

Have seen a beautiful, brand new baby girl -- D's new niece, Elisa.

Have not found the camera cord, so cannot upload any photos.

Have not washed the camera case after spilling laundry detergent all over it, so am still carrying the camera around wrapped up in pajamas.

Have made an appointment to deal with the dress.

Have not decided what to tell the seamstress to do with the dress.

Have gone to the Hasidic bra shop, which, as someone else said, resembles the wand shop in Harry Potter more than anything else. You do not shop for bras, the bras chose you, with the help of a very perceptive and skilled staff. The bras may as well be made of dragon heartstring and phoenix feathers -- they actually seem to fit.

Have not found a photographer or musical group to help us up and down the aisle.

Have taken off time for the honeymoon.

Have not bought honeymoon tickets.

Have updated blog!

Posted by csageday at 08:03 PM | Comments (0)

July 28, 2007

Registry Ruminations

Because we've been together so long, and because my family, friends, and Derek have indulged my love of food by giving me fabulous kitchenware, we are well outfitted as far as household goods go. This, in combination with the fact that we feel odd about the whole registry business, is making it difficult for us to register for things. We would rather receive something old or unique, but it's difficult to say that (and you're not allowed to say you don't want anything). There's all sorts of etiquette weirdness, which I won't explore because I'm already breaching some sort of guideline just by writing about this in the first place.

I visited Williams Sonoma last week and found three things in the entire store that I thought we might need, and one was a balloon whisk. I followed that visit with one to Bed, Bath, and Beyond, thinking that they'd have a bigger selection. They do, but it's mainly the same good stuff accompanied by lots and lots of things of lesser quality that we don't need.

Those experiences pointed to Macy's or another department store, and that hunch was boosted by recommendations from friends. So we went there Friday night and introduced ourselves to Barbara. She told us all about their policy and presented us with registry swag -- a nice Swiss Army canvas bag. We learned about various perks, and she agreed to add a note about my preference for no gift wrap, even though any environmental impact will be outweighed by the mountains of styrofoam peanuts she said we'll get.

The registry experience is very retro. You are handed an absurd list of items that you "need" for setting up your home. You become familiar with words like "china" and "flatware" and "serving sets." You are encouraged to fill your home with the same stuff that everyone else has. You can make choices, but only within a limited range of items. The mother of the bride is meant to be the subtle purveyor of registry data. And as much as all of this feels a bit odd, we feel the need to follow protocol to make our guests' role easier, and so the process is perpetuated.

At Macy's, I started to get excited about the whole thing while chatting with Barbara. For my birthday, my mother gave me some lovely pieces from a Kate Spade dragonfly collection, and I could see it sitting right behind us in the registry area. Things seemed right with the world. They offered to hold our bags while we shopped and gave us THE SCANNER, which you kind of have to goof around with for the first 15 minutes, because it beeps and makes you feel sci-fi and silly.

We headed to the Cellar, where the kitchen things are. I think we spent an hour there, mostly wandering, because we could NOT find anything to scan.

Derek insisted on touring the freakish collection of commercial cookware (hot dog cookers, slushie makers, etc.) for no practical reason. I wanted so badly to scan things (and he badly wanted to scan ridiculous things for the sake of doing it), but you can't scan things you don't really want. When I finally decided that a big red pot looked kinda cool, the scanner didn't like it (I blame D, who scanned a sandwich label right before that happened, ostensibly in the name of scanner research for work.).

After visiting the linens and china floors (where we discovered completely distinct preferences for towels), we returned to the registry area with a sum total of TWO items on our list, wondering if Barbara might decide that we weren't worthy of the swag bag or the bag checking services after all. We had all of Macy's at our disposal for three hours and we couldn't pick things that we would want to receive for free. This says something about us. And Macy's. At least I didn't get lost in the store this time or succumb to the mall pretzel place.

We've investigated a few sites that let you register for things at any store, anywhere. We looked at myregistry.com (password is required for guests!?) and felicite.com (guests are charged a $6 "handling" fee and the items aren't even purchased -- they just collect cash and give it to you, I think?). We've looked at thethingsiwant.com, and even though it has the right functionality, the name is in such poor taste that we can't imagine telling people about it.

Update: I wrote the rest of this a couple of weeks ago and am just getting around to posting it. We've finally posted a page of the wedding website (after much debate) acknowledging the awkwardness of the whole thing and listing a) charities, b) a list of vintage items and one-offs from places like Greenjeans and VivaTerra, and c) links to traditional registries, where we still have a combined total of fewer than 10 items (finding flatware we like -- one thing we need -- should help that a bit). The page begins with, "Emily Post tells us that this page is in extremely poor taste..." Not sure how it will be received, but we're on a deadline. That said, the gifts we've received so far feel really special -- our friends and family largely have great taste, so we're lucky in that regard.

Posted by csageday at 01:31 PM | Comments (0)

July 09, 2007

Spoiled Rotten

A week and a half ago, after visiting PrintIcon to get prices on letterpress printing, I headed downtown for a quiet dinner at 1492 (a Spanish tapas place) with Derek and Jo (maid of honor, visiting from Chicago) and possibly another friend, Rishi. I took my time at PrintIcon, asking questions while Jo stood by and tried to help me negotiate with the very opinionated salesperson. Then, our cab took forever to get to 1492 because I couldn't remember where it was and we ended up on the wrong side of Delancy.

Finally, we walked up to the restaurant, found D waiting outside, and headed in to find a table. I immediately noticed Rishi sitting at a table near the front, waved hello, and started walking his way. I think it took a second or two for me to register that a) everyone in the restaurant was singing happy birthday and b) I recognized not only the people sitting next to Rishi as other good friends, but I noticed that the rest of the people sitting next to them, and so on down a very long table, were also friends and were there to surprise me for my 30th birthday. As this registered and I lost my voice for a moment, my family emerged from the back. It was such a lovely, wonderful surprise, and totally unexpected. D, of course, arranged it all despite the wedding madness (and as payback for his 30th surprise), and I'm still amazed he pulled it off. I was obsessed with surprised parties as a kid, and getting one as an adult feels quite special.

To cap things off and take my mind off my cracking knees, dubious blood pressure, and various other signs that I'm no longer in my twenties, I was carted off to Babbo this evening for a decadent feast with D and the family. The beef cheek ravioli and squab were fabulous. We also had a nice chianti -- dry and tannic. And someday, I might fast for a week and then try their tasting menu. I think it may shorten my life considerably, though -- after just the normal dinner (shared antipasti and primi, and a pasta dish as a secondi), D and I both feel completely stuffed.

Posted by csageday at 12:47 AM | Comments (0)

July 06, 2007

Really Long-Winded Wedding Update

I got a little carried away with this post, because there are so many things going on and I've done so little blogging. I'm sure it's not very interesting for people not also planning a wedding -- sorry about that.

I'm learning that there are stages to each portion of the wedding planning. First, there's the amateur exploration of the new task. Then, after much hand-wringing and frustration (vented to friends, family, and strangers), there's a minor breakthrough, in which the solution becomes clear. Finally, there's a prolonged, anxiety and roadblock-filled stagger toward the finished product/decision. All of this takes time. I'm getting a little nervous about how we'll get everything done. I don't agree with the year-to-plan-a-wedding philosophy, which I attribute to marketing minds at bridal businesses, but I think I would have enjoyed taking my time with some of these activities. Here are some examples of the phases I'm seeing:

Save-the-Date

Phase I (Clueless): Stationary store visit

Phase II (Breakthrough): Realization that we can do it ourselves. Followed by: fruitless Photoshop and Googling sessions involving art deco fonts. Followed by: Breakthrough #2, when I thought of scanning photos of a family photo collection and tiling them.

Phase III: Stalling until we'd have a chance to get the photos. Paying absurd sums to use a Kinko's scanner when mine broke. Realizing Photoshop isn't ideal for publishing jobs. Agonizing over the green printer that doesn't offer hard copy proofs and charges too much. Asking for mad favors from people I barely know through work. Getting final product in wrong size. Finally sending the damned things.

Invitations

Phase I (pointless browsing): Four sit-down stationary store visits in two states, with many, many binders and some very strong opinions about postcard RSVPs (not allowed in NJ shop). No headway made at all.

Phase II: Do-it-Yourself realization, followed by hours in paper and stationary stores and several rounds of handmade invitations, which I carried around and impulsively showed to EVERYONE, from coworkers in the elevator to the checkout person in the co-op. Slowly, I moved toward a final design. By then, word-of-mouth recommendations had helped me uncover a second type of wedding invitation vendor -- the type that will print your design in letterpress. I feel like I've made it to some sort of inner circle. Both PrintIcon and Soho Letterpress have printing presses on site, cranking away. The visit to Soho Letterpress, which involves a poorly marked door, a buzz, and a climb up four flights of stairs (in one of those loft buildings where you can see all hundred or so stairs stretching ahead of you) felt like an induction into a secret, cheaper alternative for people who know their fonts and colors and may have attended art school (I don't and didn't, but I tried my best to act creative). The prices were a lot cheaper than PrintIcon, too, which was the first place I brought my little DIY mockup to. (Thanks, Marci, for the recommendation and the art-school help!)

Phase III: Major implementation-of-idea difficulties. The paper I like from Kate's doesn't come in normal envelope sizes and PrintIcon wouldn't even print on it. It tends to disintegrate. The foldovers I'm using have been discontinued. The alternative versions don't fit in standard size envelopes. The second-choice paper I finally find doesn't come in RSVP envelope sizes. And I'm only in the middle of this phase, so plenty of additional difficulties are ahead.

Caterer

Phase I (Clueless and pathetic): Web searches yield little. All the major places are booked. The local options are limited. When the food is good, the staffing is minimal. When the food is so-so, the staffing is exceptional. When you get both together... there's something else.

Phase II: Realize, after leaving potential caterers hanging because we have no time to call people during the day, that we need help. Discover wonderful wedding coordinator, despite conviction that wedding doesn't need a planner other than you. Finally, we're close to making a decision on this.

Phase III: Oh god. This phase is going to be difficult.

Dress & Tux

Let's not discuss the dress. Except to say that there are no shoes and the undergarment I'm supposed to be getting is hanging on a rack in a store somewhere (where??? The ones in Macy's were scary). I need to get both of those things before I can get it altered. We may be getting a tux this weekend.

Registry

Phase I: Search desperately for alternative to non-eco-friendly, boring, mass-market, consumerist alternatives. Love idea of places like myregistry.com, but find out they require guests to sign in (ach!). Are ashamed of domain names like thethingsiwant.com. Try to put together custom registry with things like a glass-blowing class, donations to charities, etc., but realize custom list is lame and gouache.

Phase II: Give up. We're heading to a chain tomorrow. Hopefully it'll be fun to use a scanner.

Music

Derek is doing the music. Derek is very busy. Derek may do the music himself. I am grateful that a) he does A/V work for a living and b) the iPod exists. I think we're still in Phase I. Mom thinks Phase II will involve a realization that we like recorder music, so we can use people she knows. Recorder music reminds me of third grade.

Wedding Party

Jo and Nick: fend for yourselves.

Dessert

Phase I: There's a great bakery in the next town over. She's doing fabulous cupcakes.
Phase II: I had a breakthrough yesterday. I think we should also have rice crispie treats. I like rice crispie treats. I'm worried that this idea will be greeted with the same response that my corduroy wedding dress idea received.

Honeymoon

Greece, maybe? When are we supposed to plan THIS?

Photographer

Phase I (Pointless dithering): Surfing Adirondack photographer sites. Good ones are booked. Rest are kinda scary. Prices all over the charts.

Phase II (Breakthrough): Flickr has AWESOME photographers. There must be some way of convincing one of them to come to our wedding. I plan to mine Flickr for info. Another suggestion from a very-organized bride-to-be-on-a-budget is to put your terms on a local Craigslist "Gigs" category and filter through responses.

Posted by csageday at 11:09 PM | Comments (4)