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September 19, 2006

Audiologists & Car Salesmen

I have enough hearing loss to justify wearing a hearing aid (or two, actually), but I've valiantly (or frustratingly) avoided doing so for approximately twenty years because I hate the things. They're ugly, cost a lot, and are easy to lose. Wearing one makes you feel like you're walking around with cotton in your ear, into which someone has wedged a mini radio that goes "whoooossshsshhhh" all day and occasionally amplifies the speech of your loved ones.

If you mumble or if you've ever tried to tell me something from behind my back, you have some experience with my charming hearing loss. In fact, if you mumble, you probably hate me because I laughed that time you told me your cat died, or whatever. I'm not that good at compensating for not hearing whispered things. I do a lot of nodding and intent staring. Sometimes I manage to piece together meaning 30 seconds later, and jump inappropriately into the conversation. This makes me unpopular.

Once in a blue moon, I'll end up in a situation where I really can't hear a thing, and then I'll think, Damn, I need to go to an audiologist and just get a backup hearing aid. This happened in the nineties, when I was called to jury duty in Newark and had no idea what the hell was going on in the courtroom. I think it was even a murder trial, so I was freaking out a bit. The lawyers mumbled (who knew lawyers could mumble?) and the acoustics were terrible -- the words just evaporated into the air. Thankfully, I was picked off by one of the lawyers, but that experience, along with a few other equally traumatizing ones, finally sent me in the direction of an audiologist two years ago.

Audiologist's offices seem like doctor's offices. They are tucked away in office buildings with other medical offices, there's a receptionist's desk, and you fill out an insurance form. Once inside, there are framed diplomas and white walls and such. There is a booth for the hearing test (an agonizing place, since I'm competitive and it kills me that I can't ace the test), and there's medical gear lying around. You have a test and a consultation, and then you expect to be told something about the hearing aids available.

This is where it all goes horribly wrong. Your audiologist will tell you that you want and need Brand X, for such and such technical details. You nod. What you don't know, and what won't dawn on you until you leave or go to another audiologist, is that audiologists are like car salesman. They've sold their souls to one major company, and they'll sell that company over any other to patients. Their "diagnosis" leads nicely into a sales pitch. During the pitch, you start to notice that the diplomas on the wall aren't really medical.

My father (also near-deaf and a valiant crusader against hearing aids, until recently) gave me a lecture about this a while back, which I semi-ignored. I figured that I just had to find the right one, who would show me all sorts of hearing aids and discuss their merits in a non-biased way.

The first audiologist I saw seemed pleasant, and recommended a type of hearing aid that seemed perfect, although horribly expensive. I was very happy with it, since it doesn't have the cotton-ear effect, but I couldn't get much information about other/cheaper brands.

Today, I went to another guy in the hope of the non-biased experience and something cheaper. No go. The guy even looked like a used car salesman -- kind of round, and pushy about the sale. His shirt made me dizzy. And he offered only one recommended product (a different one). At the end of the appointment, in a very un-doctorly way, he asked me, "Just for my own reference, I've given you the full refund option (read: No money down!!), now WHY are you leaving this office today without purchasing a hearing aid?" ARGH. At least he enunciated well and spoke at a comfortable volume, so I didn't miss a minute of the sales pitch. I think I need to start an advocacy group. Or maybe learn sign language and force all of my friends and family to do the same?

Update: Thanks to Rose for the links. Also, I forgot to mention my biggest gripe about this whole thing: Insurance plans don't cover hearing aids! And they're not cheap. Hence the whole sales-oriented doctor thing.

Posted by csageday at September 19, 2006 10:28 PM

Comments

Posted by: melissa at September 20, 2006 04:48 PM

Posted by: Rose at September 21, 2006 11:39 AM

Posted by: Rose at September 21, 2006 03:35 PM

Posted by: Cindy at September 21, 2006 03:57 PM