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January 24, 2005

Buses Are Slow

Nearly every evening, on my way to the subway, I pass a bus stop and there always seems to be a bus just pulling up. The buses seem to be moving fast, and I suddenly realize that if I jump on I would be getting somewhere in less than thirty seconds. I could avoid the 17 flights of slushy stairs and endless train delays and take the bus instead. The price is the same, and as an added bonus there's a view and I'll probably get a seat. When it's freezing outside, seeing a well-lit, warm bus pass by with a bunch of calm, warm-looking people staring out the window looks really inviting.

bus_map.gifToday I couldn't resist. I had no idea which bus to get on but I figured 1) they're on Broadway heading downtown 2) I need to go downtown, and 3) I can just get off it it starts going the wrong way. I saw something like "Broadway -- 1st Ave" flash across the front of a bus and ran up to it as it pulled into the stop. Since I rarely take busses I'm usually flustered when I get inside -- should I say hello? The driver's right there. What's the etiquette? Passengers seem to understand that I'm a neophyte because they all stare at me. As in other failed attempts to ride buses in the city I try to nonchalantly look at the bus map and then remember that bus maps are unintelligible (see "Ancient Hieroglyphic Map", right). Plus, you need to know what bus you're on to make any sense of them. I'm self-conscious to an unhealthy degree, so instead of asking for help my next step was to find a seat and look out the window. The snow banks on the side of the street made me think for a minute that the bus may not have been the best idea just after a blizzard.

After about 50 stops in 5 blocks, I notice that all my fellow passengers are over 60 and buses really aren't for people who are trying to get anywhere in a hurry (like, for instance, to meet someone for dinner downtown). Then, we hit Times Square. There are three constant traffic jams in the city that I regularly run into -- there's one at Times Square, one in front of Grand Central, and one near the Port Authority. You really want to avoid being in any sort of moving vehicle in any of these places. And you never, ever want to experience those areas in or near rush hour. I must have spent 15 minutes moving from 43rd stree to 42nd street. And despite the 50 stops we'd made previously, you are NOT allowed to GET OUT of a bus if you're not at a bus stop. So while two ambulances drove right up to the side of the bus, trying to signal it to move out of the way, sirens and alarms blaring, the bus just sat there, and its passengers just stared off into space.

I seriously considered escaping further bus-related trauma at 41st street, but the traffic seemed a little less dense up ahead, it was warm in the bus, and I'm lazy, so I stayed put. We made a left onto 42nd and headed, stopping all the way, toward Bryant park. I saw one man scale a snow bank to get on the bus and then only ride it for 2 blocks. It would have been so much faster to walk. I regard bus travel in the city as something that long-time New Yorkers (who I hold in great esteem) know how to do, but I'm mixing it up -- it's something long-time New Yorkers are forced to do because they can't handle the 17 flights of stairs in the subway. Either that or they feel an urge for a very slow, old-timer's tour or their neighborhood. I can't see any other point of riding a bus in midtown. The stress induced by starting and stopping, nearly killing pedestrians, getting nowhere, and having to operate a little push-strip thing to ask the driver to stop at the right moment is just too much.

I had hoped that my bus would head down Broadway, but I needed to get to 9th St. and 2nd Ave. so I didn't mind going east until we came within sight of the arch near Grand Central, site of the second honking-parking-lot-in-the-street. In one of my previous bus escapades I sat there for half an hour. After another harrowing 15 minutes of screeching starts and stops, we were moving again, but at 2nd Ave. everyone stood up at once and got off. Mystified, I asked the driver where they bus was going and found out that I was at the last stop (duh). Disillusioned again, I got off and ended up spending $8 to take a cab to Veselka. $8 more than I would have if I had taken the damn train.

Posted by csageday at January 24, 2005 10:27 PM

Comments

I know what you mean. Buses suck, except late at night. And you also asked the "driving" when you should have been asking the "driver" where the bus was going.

Posted by: D at January 25, 2005 10:28 AM

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